i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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