it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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