Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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