Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
