You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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