I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
