Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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