gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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