At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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