I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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