Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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