mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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