when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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