The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
