I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i will never coherently bang her
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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