I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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