I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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