Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
