i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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