i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
