Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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