Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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