Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize