K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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