Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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