you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
