I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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