I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
