What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
