Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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