We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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