his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
