i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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