you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize