You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
