I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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