Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
