careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
