i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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