I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
