so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Ladies don't puke and tell
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
