idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize