ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
