Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I party with great urgency now.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
