i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
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