Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Also, beer. Big fan.
be right there i have to get my cape
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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