I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
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He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
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we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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