maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
