so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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