White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
honey bunches of taint.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
