i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
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Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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