Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore