I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
