You can't motorboat a personality
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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