Taylor Swift is so right about you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
