Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
