Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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