Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
