I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
