Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
