there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
