Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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