i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
someone owes me an orgasm
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
