Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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