I would go down on you faster than GM stock
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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